i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
