you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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