I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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