I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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