yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
