Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
