Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
