I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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