Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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