You can't special order awesome
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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