And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
