WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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