She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize