i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
