i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
