yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
