And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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