If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize