Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize