I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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