We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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