he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
