Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
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