My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
