And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
