so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
