I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
