You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
