he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I want you more than these girls want KFC
is wine microwaveable?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
