she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
