ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
