the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
