Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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