HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
