You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize