I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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