ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
