I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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