I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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