butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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