My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
