i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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