You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I need help removing her.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
