help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
