Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Randomize
