mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
