You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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