Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
