I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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