so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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