are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I have aggressive nipples.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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