She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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