that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
