singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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