Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
