Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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