we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
