I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
