stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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