Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I supernannyed him into submission
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
