Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
