this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize