New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
